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Favorite this joke Saw a lad standing on one leg at an ATM.
Confused, I asked him what he was doing?
He was just checking his balance.
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."
St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."
St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But... you can only stay for three days. After that, you got to go!"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing...
Except at a funeral.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Doctor, what's going on?" asked the concerned father-to-be.
"Don't worry," said the doctor, "those are just contractions."
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