Latest Jokes

A young man was a very slow worker and subsequently found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the employment office, he was offered work at the local zoo.

When he arrived for his first day, the keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of the tortoise section.Later, the keeper dropped by to see how the young man was doing and found him standing by an empty enclosure with the gate open.

"Where are the tortoises?" he asked.

"I can't believe it," said the new employee, "I just opened the door and whoosh, they were gone!"

An awning broke away from a building.

Maybe now I can call it an offing???

John: I hear your having trouble at the office.

Fred: Yes! The Director thinks the bookkeeper has been embezzling money.

John: What brought him to that conclusion?

Fred: The auditor found an account marked "Accounts Deceivable".

"Suppose," says the old salt of a sea captain, testing his new recruit, "that a sudden storm springs up on your starboard side. What would you do?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir," says the new sailor.

"And what would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir," the raw recruit replies.

"Now," says the captain, "a storm springs up forward of the ship. What would you do this time?"

"Throw out another anchor, Captain."

"Hold on, hold on. Where are you getting all these anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir," replied the new recruit.

He got to keep his job.