A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to the impresario.
"I have the most unusual act," he announces. "I'm sure it will amaze you."
He climbs up to the high wire and jumps off! He flaps his arms wildly, and finally his fall slows and the man begins to fly. He soars upward, turns, and swoops back again. Finally, he stops in mid air and gently lowers himself to the ground.
The impresario says, "Is that all you've got? Bird impressions?"
The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you did real good, son," the farmer beamed, "because you only left with seven."
Teacher: "Here is an example of a tongue twister — Sally sells sixty six shells by the sandy seashore... Now try saying that five times in a row fast!"
Little Johnny: "That five times in a row fast!"
Yo Momma is so big...
When she steps on a digital scale it says: To be continued.