A junior partner in a law firm was sent to represent a long-term client. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney emailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately!"
Saw a lad standing on one leg at an ATM.
Confused, I asked him what he was doing?
He was just checking his balance.
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, "As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children."
St. Peter lets him enter. The next doctor says, "As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives."
St. Peter tells him to go ahead. The last man says, "I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care."
St. Peter replies, "You may enter. But... you can only stay for three days. After that, you got to go!"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing...
Except at a funeral.