Latest Jokes

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

Did you hear? Chef Careless was arrested for assault. He was caught whipping the cream and beating the eggs!

Suzanne was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her, "Why did you cut off the end of the ham"?

She replied, "I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to." Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied, "I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it."

A few weeks later, while visiting her grandmother, Suzanne asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?"

Her grandmother replied, "Well dear, it would never fit into my baking pan."

A small boy is sent to bed by his mother. Five minutes later, "Mom."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

[Five minutes later] "Mom."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can I please have a glass of water?"

"I told you no! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!"

[Five minutes later] "Mom!"

"WHAT?!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?"