Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 3 votes

An English teacher asks Little Johnny: “Make an opposite of this sentence... ‘Kids in the dark usually make errors.’”

Little Johnny: “Errors in the dark usually make kids."

3 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
4 votes

Bill's second anniversary was coming up and his wife Suzy had recently been upset about how much time he spent at the office. He needed a thoughtful gift to show her how much he cared.

Bill asked all of his clients and co-workers what would be a good anniversary present, and he eventually settled on a huge bouquet of flowers.

He wasn't sure he could pick the right flowers by himself, so he called a local florist and asked them to create a big, beautiful bouquet to be delivered the next morning with the following note "Happy Anniversary! Year Number Two!"

The following morning, Bill received an angry phone call from his wife Suzy.

"What is this all about?!" she demanded.

Bill was perplexed. He thought she would love the flowers.

"What's the matter with it, dear?" he asked.

She read the card aloud to him. "Happy Anniversary! Your number two!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$10.00 won 6 votes
 

Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. A few minutes after it started, Fred heard Sam rustling around and he seemed to be searching on the floor under his seat.

“What are you doing?” asked Fred.

Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied “I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. I can’t find it.”

Fred told him to forget it because it would be too dirty by now. “But I’ve got to,” said Sam, “my teeth are in it!”

6 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Bhanu Sandesh" |
3 votes

Dispatcher: Nine one one. What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks. Why?

3 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
posted by "D-Gellybean" |