Latest Jokes

Pulling guard duty in the army is dull work.

But I never realized just how dull until one night, with nothing else to do, I looked underneath my desk.

There I found these words scrawled by a predecessor: Man, you must really be bored!

On a recent congressional trip to Switzerland one of the group spoke to a group. There was very little applause. He was followed by a man that spoke to them in their native tongue.

The applause was deafening and everyone in the group cheered as loudly as the best of them. Then, still clapping, he leaned over to the chairman of the meeting, "What did he say?"

"He was interpreting your speech to them," replied the chairman gravely.

Just found out on my tax return that there's a limit on dependents...


I thought 45 was reasonable, but I was wrong.

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

There was a big sign posted... "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I had a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."