Latest Jokes

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'

Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.

The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"

A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"

Joe: "Why do matadors wave red capes at bulls?"

Moe: "To make them angry so they'll charge."

Joe: "Do they dislike the color red that much?"

Moe: "Actually no, it's chickens that don't like red."

Joe: "But what does that have to do with bull fighting?"

Moe: "A bull really hates getting treated like a chicken."

As a member of the Marine Corps, a man was stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms Base in California. Among those serving there was a private who was determined not to re-enlist. At inspection one morning, the officer asked him, "Are you married, son?"

"No, sir," he replied. "Engaged."

"There's no need to get married," the officer said, sensing an opportunity to change the private's plans for discharge. "The Marine Corps is your wife. It clothes you, feeds you, puts a roof over your head, keeps you in top physical condition and provides you with companionship. What else could you possibly want?"

"With all due respect, sir," answered the private, "... a divorce!"