Latest Jokes

$15.00 won 3 votes

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

A farmer lived on a quiet, rural highway. As time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six chickens a day. A call to the sheriff resulted in signs being put up near the farmer's land that said "Slow: School Crossing." Chickens were still being run over. The sheriff had the signs changed to say "Slow: Children at Play." Again no change.

"Look, your signs are just not working. Mind if I put up one of my own?" asked the farmer. The Sheriff agreed. Three weeks later, the Sheriff decided to see if the new sign was working because he had not received anymore complaints. Upon close inspection, the sheriff saw the new sign that was making a difference. Written on a whole sheet of plywood were the words... "Slow: Nudist Colony."

3 votes

CATEGORY Farmer Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
1 votes
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Scientist have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs... the tallest ones, anyway.

1 votes

$15.00 won 5 votes

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

5 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |