Latest Jokes

$50.00 won 1 votes
 

DORMITORY
When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

THE MORSE CODE
When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW
When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE ZS

A DECIMAL POINT
When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

1 votes

Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "merk" |
1 votes

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.
Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.
Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.
Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.
Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, "Wake up, it's time for school."
Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: "Wake up, it's time for hockey practice."

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$15.00 won 1 votes

Not a single person asked if I could run fast in my new shoes today...

Being an adult is stupid.

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "aod318" |
1 votes

Rules for villains:

Never leave 007 tied up alone; he’ll escape and mess everything up. Just trust me on that!
If you’re anywhere near the Daily Planet news agency and decide to rob a bank it’s imperative you hire people to use every phone booth in a ten block radius.

Villains, when you drive away from a hero chasing you (on foot) drive straight and step on it. If you make a turn you’ll hear a loud thump; that’s the hero jumping on your car. They know all the short cuts. If this happens slam on the breaks, don’t just weave back and forth or you’re duck soup.

Last but not least if you’re a villain in Gotham City blend in, don’t wear flashy distinctive clothing or make up especially improperly applied lip stick. If Super Hero’s don’t know who you are the chances are they’ll just look around and scratch their heads.

1 votes

posted by "Marty" |