Latest Jokes

Gigahertz: When the rock bands lead singer swan dives from the stage but no one catches him.
Megabyte: When your mouth overrides your ability to keep your job slinging hamburgers.

Hard Drive: That trip you make to the in-laws every Sunday for dinner!
Microwave: When you lift one finger off the steering wheel to wave.

Keyboard: The main structural backbone in ship building.
Algorithms: Highly trained dancing alligators.

Semi-Conductor: Person in training to lead an orchestra.
Terabyte: When a pitbull latches on to the seat of your pants but you emerge unscathed.

C++ code language: When you earned a B but your college professor doesn't like your pink hair.
Blue Tooth: When a lack of brushing goes way beyond the yellow tooth stage.

I'm beginning to think my five year old grandson is a genius...

I can't tell his paintings from that of Picasso!

Customer: “Can I please get your name and position with the company?”

Employee: “This is Ryan, and I am sitting down.”

Jake is struggling with two huge suitcases when a stranger asks, “Got the time?”

Jake glances at his wrist. “A quarter to six.”

“Nice watch,” the stranger says.

“Thanks,” Jake says. “I built it. It can speak the time aloud for any city, in any language. Plus it’s got GPS and an MP3 player.”

“Wow!” the man says. “How much?”

“This is my prototype. It’s not for sale.

“I’ll give you $1,000.”

“Can’t,” Jake says. “It’s not ready.”

“$5,000!”

“Well Okay, but...”

The man slaps a wad of cash into Jake’s hand, grabs the watch, and starts to walk away.

“Wait,” Jake yells, running toward him with the suitcases. “Don’t forget your batteries!”