Latest Jokes

You Might Be A College Student If.....

... you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.
... you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.

... you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
... you have ever written a check for 45 cents.

... you get more e-mail than snail mail.
... you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.

... your glass set is composed of McDonald's Extra Value Meal Plastic Cups
... your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.

... you average less than 3 hours of sleep a night.
... your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn't.

... you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy.
... you wake up 10 minutes before class.

... your room is so cold that your toilet freezes over.
... you get more sleep in class than in your room.

Two prison inmates were standing in the cafeteria line getting lunch...

One inmate said to the other inmate, "When I was governor, the food was much better!"

In the HR department in the large corporation where I work, I receive absentee slips for all the employees.

Over the years I’ve heard every excuse, but the other day I found one in my voicemail that I never heard before.

“I won’t be in today,” said my absent coworker. “I’ll call back later with an excuse.”