The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.”
“That was a very misguided thing to do, my son,” said the priest patiently.
“It wasn’t misguided at all,” said Little Johnny. “I hit him.”
On a narrow mountain road a man saw a car driving uphill backwards.
"Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?"
"Because we are not sure if there's enough space to make a U-turn on top of the mountain."
After one hour the same man saw the same car driving downhill backwards.
"But guys, why are you driving backwards again?"
"There was enough space to make a U-turn up there."
A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters, boots, and spurs -- standing on a street corner in a busy city. He approached the cowboy and asked him his name.
"Call me Tex!" was the cowboy's reply.
"Well, Tex, where are you from, Texas?" the policeman asked.
"Nah, I'm from Louisiana, but I couldn't very well have you call me Louise!"
Jose was chatting with his friend Pablo. He said to Pablo, “My wife is a BIG spendthrift. She keeps asking me for more and more money every week.”
Pablo asked, “But what does she spend all that money on?”
Jose replied, “Who knows, I never give her any money.”