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If the ant sinks, it's a girl ant...
If the ant floats, then it's a "buoy-ant"!
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none.
The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''
The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''
The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.
The man clears his throat and begins singing, ''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out.
"Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
"Peter!" his mother scolded. "There were two cookies in the pantry this morning but now there's only one! Do you have an explanation?"
Peter replied, "It must have been too dark and I didn't see the other one."
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