You know what really hurts me inside?
Internal bleeding.
Why haven't Aliens visited out Solar System yet?
They looked at the reviews...
Only 1 star!
Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"
Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."
Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."
Dear Monday,
Just saying, your friends Saturday and Sunday are just more fun.
Nothing personal.