Why don't magnets fall in love?
Because their prospective mates are polar opposites.
"I want to divorce my wife."
"On what grounds?"
"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."
"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"
"No, she is looking for me."
It has been finally realized that babies born on holidays are more than likely to be little girls...
The reason is because there is no mail delivery on holidays.