Why should you never drill a hole in a clock?
Because time will run out.
A Sunday school teacher asked little Susie, "Who's your favorite person in the Bible?"
Susie said, "King Solomon."
"Can you tell us why?"
"Because he was so nice to ladies and to animals."
"What do you mean?"
"He had six hundred wives and three hundred porcupines."
I ordered from a catalog product number 699.
Today, I I received a package with the number 669 on the side.
I called customer service and my they told me to turn the package over.
How can you tell you’re getting old?
You go to an antiques auction and three people bid on you.