Latest Jokes

3 votes

Mick and Paddy were working on the building site and stopped to have lunch. They sat on the 3rd floor veranda to eat their sandwiches. Paddy opened his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches." He then got up and threw them off the site onto the concrete below.

Next day, the same thing happened. He looked at his lunch box and said, "I hate egg sandwiches" and threw them over on to the concrete. The third day was similar, so he threw himself over on to the concrete.

Mick sent for an ambulance , to take him to hospital and then went to see Paddy's wife. He said, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but Paddy has been taken to hospital."

Paddy's wife said, "What happened?"

"I think it was your fault."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, he said he hated egg sandwiches and threw himself off the balcony on to the concrete."

His wife said, "Well don't blame me, he makes his own sandwiches!"

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Les Smedley" |
$6.00 won 5 votes

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."

Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."

5 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 3 votes

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention.

She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she assured me,"but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

Why did the triangle refuse to be friends with the circle?

It found the circle pointless.

9 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Clown" |