Latest Jokes

$7.00 won 2 votes

Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful".

"Is that really your name?" I asked her.

"No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at me all day, I can at least be called something I like."

2 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milkshake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.

The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."

"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
2 votes

Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."

"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.

"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."

"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.

"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.

"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.

"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.

"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."

A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"

"I raffled it off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.

"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.

Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
$5.00 won 2 votes

Women call me ugly occasionally, but that’s only until they hear how much money I make...

Then they say I’m poor and ugly.

2 votes

posted by "pinkgalaxy3" |