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Favorite this joke In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.
"Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"
I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"
During a terrible snowstorm a St. Bernard was sent out with his usual keg of brandy to find a lost hiker.
Two hours later, the dog came back to the rescue center with his little barrel empty and a note tucked under his collar.
Curious, the chief took the note, revealing it to say, "Enjoyed the brandy. Next time, please send a double!"
A farmer suddenly went into a coma one day, upon which his wife quickly called the doctor. Upon examining the farmer, the doctor sadly shakes his head and tsks. "I'm very sorry, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's gone. I'll call the funeral home in a moment."
Upon arriving, the morticians carefully placed the body on a stretcher and carried it down the porch steps. As they began to round the corner of the house, the lead barer suddenly lurched to avoid the edge of the fence, lost his balance, and dropped his end of the stretcher. The sudden jolt brought the farmer back to consciousness; in about a week, he'd made a full recovery and went back to working on the farm.
Seven years later, the farmer went into a coma again; the doctor sadly told his wife that the farmer was truly dead this time. As the undertakers came to take the body, his wife whispered, "Watch out for the fence this time."
Taxi driver: "That will be $3.50, please."
Passenger: "Oh dear, I'm afraid I'm a little short. Could you back up a little bit and make it $2.50, please?"
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