A woman walked past a pet store and looked in and saw a parrot. The parrot said, “Hey lady, you sure are ugly.”
The lady was so upset that she ran inside and told the owner, “If your parrot says that about me again I will tell everyone I know that you are training your parrots to say mean things.”
The owner replied, “I promise you ma'am, my bird will never say those words to you again.”
The next day the lady came into the pet store and the parrot looked at the lady and said, “Hey lady, you know!”
Yo Momma is so dumb...
She was hiding from burglars behind glass doors!
While sitting on top of a large pile of dirt, one bulldozer says to the other bulldozer, "Did the earth move for you too?"
Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "Think I'm gonna divorce the wife... she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months."
Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, "Better think it over... women like that are hard to find."