Latest Jokes

4 votes

I had spent the late winter months waiting impatiently for signs of spring. When the first warm, sunny Saturday arrived, I eagerly unlocked the storm door and stepped onto our patio deck.

I was pleased by the sight of green sprouts and the sounds of singing birds. More than anything else, I was delighted in the sweet aroma of the spring air.

Knocking on the kitchen window, I beckoned to my wife to join me in enjoying the pleasures of the season. She quietly brought me back to earth when she reminded me that I was standing over the dryer vent, inhaling the scent of fabric softener.

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$10.00 won 7 votes

I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said, “You have a wee cough?”

I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a week off!"

7 votes

posted by "Gegg Smith" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

Did you hear about the old man whose birthday one year lasted only one minute?

It was his sixty-second birthday.

5 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
3 votes

A little boy got a cold at school one day. He came home sneezing and sniffling, and his mother watched him with a knowing eye. Later that day, he was playing with his older sister when his mother called him into the kitchen. "Son, I know you're not feeling very good," she began. "Tomorrow for breakfast, don't eat your normal sugary cereal. I'll allow you to have some LIFE cereal after you eat a bowl of oatmeal, though. See, it's right here on the shelf," she pointed.

"Now, afterwards, I want you to have your older sister make you some broth from that ground liver we have in the fridge." Seeing the face he made, she added, "and then you can have some of the leftover sweet tea."

After the little boy came out of the kitchen, his older sister curiously asked, "What did she want?"

He promptly replied, "She just gave me the rights to LIFE, liver tea, and proper tea!"

3 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |