Latest Jokes

4 votes

An old man was relaxing at his hundredth birthday party when a reporter went up to him. "Sir, what is the secret of your long life?"

The man considered this for a moment, then replied, "Every evening at 9 p.m. I have a glass of port. Good for the heart I've heard."

The reporter then asked, "That's ALL?"

The man smiled, "Well, canceling my voyage on Titanic sure didn't hurt."

4 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

After his marriage broke up, my manager became very philosophical. "I guess it was in our genes," he sighed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Her sign is the one for earth. Mine is the one for water. Together we made mud."

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Zaynudeen87" |
$25.00 won 6 votes

Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird feed.

The salesperson ask how many birds does he have?

Little Johnny replies, "None, I want to grow some."

6 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Baby Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |