I don't know why most people think a dog's life is so easy.
Every time I come home from work, I ask my dog how his day went.
He always says, "Rough!"
A mother walked up to the pharmacist and said, "I would like vitamins for my son."
"Vitamin A, B or C?" the pharmacist asked.
It doesn't matter," the mother replied. "He can't read yet."
What flavors of ice cream do you have?" inquired the customer.
"Vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate," answered the new waitress in a hoarse whisper.
Trying to be sympathetic, the customer asked, "Do you have laryngitis?"
"No...." replied the new waitress with some effort, "just...erm.... vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate."
How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.