Latest Jokes

Little Johnny goes to the local Farm & Ranch store to buy bird feed.

The salesperson ask how many birds does he have?

Little Johnny replies, "None, I want to grow some."

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.

“Because you can’t hold your drink.”

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"

"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."