When my wife and I went out for dinner I thought I'd have a little fun. I said to her, "Did you see that waitress? She looked at me and smiled."
Without batting an eye my wife responded, "So what, the first time I saw you I laughed right out loud. It means nothing."
“My great-grandma gave me this money,” said my three-year-old, happily clutching a $20 bill he’d gotten as a present.
“That’s right,” I said. “How did you know that?”
Pointing to Andrew Jackson’s face in the middle, he said, “Because her picture is on it.”
My cousin always “borrows” money from her older brother’s piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the freezer.
Inside was this note: “Dear sister, I hope you’ll understand, but my capital has been frozen.”