A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four."
Steve phoned his dentist when he received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" he complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."
A genie came to me and asked, "What's your first wish?"
I answered, "I wish I was rich!"
Then the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"
A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification."
He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."
"How come?" asked the woman.
"Crooks don't usually buy peat moss," answered the clerk.