Latest Jokes

War does not determine who is right...

Only who is left.

One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he explained, "This way I can't forget the date."

A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application."

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer...

"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$75.'"

"If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $50.'"

"If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.'"

Where there's a will...

I want to be in it!