"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy, while holding out her hand.
"My dog ate it," was his solemn response.
"Johnny, I have been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"
"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"
Where I'm from, you don't see too many people hang gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge... into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, his Maw and Paw were sitting on the porch swing talking bout the good ole days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! "Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG... BANG... BANG... BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"
An old man is sitting at his table in the hotel dining room with a bowl of soup in front of him. He calls the waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.
"Is the soup too cold?" asks the waiter.
"Taste the soup," says the old man.
"Is it too salty?" asks the waiter.
"Taste the soup!" says the old man.
"Is there a fly in it?" asks the waiter.
"JUST TASTE THE SOUP WILL YA!" the old man insists.
The waiter looks down: "OK then...Where is the spoon?"
The old man exclaims, "Aha!"