What did the new Washing Machine tell the Old Refrigerator?
"Whatever you do, don't lose your 'cool'!"
Ever been so broke, that you dropped your wallet or purse on purpose...
Just to see the look of disappointment on the face of the person who finds it?
Why is the Sea horse the most intelligent animal?
Because when reproducing, it is the only animal where the female says to the male, "Here's the eggs, you deal with them!"
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's strange eating habits, "All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?"
"Eventually," said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"