A penny for your thoughts...
Or $20 to act them out!
"What do you get if you cross a fridge and a stereo?"
"I don't know, what?"
We took our son to eat breakfast on his birthday and when the hostess was sitting us, she asked if we needed a kid's menu.
My son looked at her surprised and said, "Kids menu? Excuse me! I'm a teenager! Today is my birthday. I'm eleven-teen!"
Swimming Coach: "Hey! Why are you doing only the backstroke?"
Swimmer: "Because I just ate, sir. I don't want to swim on a full stomach."