Latest Jokes

Doctor: "Have you been drinking fluids?"

Patient: "Jeez, Doc, that's literally all I drink."

What do you get when you cross a dog and a lion?

You get a really scared mailman!

Two young lady friends hadn't seen each other in a long time and decided to meet for lunch. Their conversation got around to their respective love lives.

Marcy confessed there really wasn't anyone in her life at the moment. Heather started smiling like crazy when talking about her new beau. "He's perfect. He's so sweet. Then last night he said those four little words I've been waiting to hear."

"What? He asked you to marry him?" Marcy asked.

Heather said, "No, he said 'put your money away.'"

To show my wife how much I love her I bought her a beautiful diamond ring...

I had it engraved with the cost.