Latest Jokes

Two young lady friends hadn't seen each other in a long time and decided to meet for lunch. Their conversation got around to their respective love lives.

Marcy confessed there really wasn't anyone in her life at the moment. Heather started smiling like crazy when talking about her new beau. "He's perfect. He's so sweet. Then last night he said those four little words I've been waiting to hear."

"What? He asked you to marry him?" Marcy asked.

Heather said, "No, he said 'put your money away.'"

To show my wife how much I love her I bought her a beautiful diamond ring...

I had it engraved with the cost.

I invented some new cookware...

But the critics panned it.

What did the vet say when Schrodinger went to pick up his cat?

"I have good news and bad news..."