Latest Jokes

A woman buys many gallons of milk from the milkman one day.

"Why do you need so much milk?" the mailman asks.

The lady replies, "I heard that taking baths in milk makes you healthier and prettier."

The milkman asks, "Would you like the milk pasteurized?"

She answers, "No, just up to the neck".

I am constantly drinking Diet Coke.

On a rainy day I told my 9 year-old son that I needed an umbrella because I’m made of sugar and will melt in the rain.

He said, “You sure it's not artificial sugar?”

A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...

They assured him he would be covered.

A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, ”Did you get a look at the driver?”

”No,” he said, “but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.”

“How do you know that?” asked the officer.

“I’d recognize her laugh anywhere!”