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Favorite this joke I had just become a Second lieutenant in The Marines when my mother and I were walking toward the Iwo Jima monument. We were about to cross the street when a truck was coming toward us. We jumped back out of the way.
The driver, a USMC Gunny Sergeant slowed down, leaned out the window, saluted and told mother, "Don't worry, I wouldn't hit an officer -- there's too much paperwork in it."
A snobby man looked at me at a party and said, "You look poor!"
"Well," I clarified, "I've got an outfit for everyday of the week."
"Do you really?" he replied.
I said, "Yes. It's this one!"
Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.
"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow." Doug said. "Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday."
"And???" Bill asked.
"Well, she said 'Oh, I don't know just give me something with diamonds in it'."
"So what did you get her?" asked Bill.
"I bought her a deck of cards!!"
Knock Knock...
Who's there?
Owls say...
Owls say who?
Yes, yes they do.
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