Never hit a man with glasses...
Use your fists instead.
A four year old got her daddy out of bed early one Saturday morning.
As he was fixing her breakfast she asked, "Why do you have one eye open and one eye closed"?
Her father looked at her and smiled as he said, "I'm still half asleep."
One morning a call came in to the school office.
"Hello, please mark William absent today. He's sick," said the caller.
"Okay," said the receptionist. "May I ask who is speaking?"
"My uncle," said William.
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.