Latest Jokes

A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men. One is sitting on a rock reading a book and the other is working at a typewriter.

The lion ate only one. Which one and why?

He ate the man reading the book because everyone knows that reader's digest and writer's cramp.

Magistrate: "What was he doing when you arrested him?"

Policeman: "He was arguing with a taxi driver, Your Honor."

Magistrate: "That is no proof he has drunk."

Policeman: "Well, Your Honor, there was no taxi driver there."

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She’s beautiful, isn’t she?"

I said, "If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!"

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she’s an optician!"