I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”
He said, “You have a wee cough?”
I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a week off!"
Did you hear about the old man whose birthday one year lasted only one minute?
It was his sixty-second birthday.
A little boy got a cold at school one day. He came home sneezing and sniffling, and his mother watched him with a knowing eye. Later that day, he was playing with his older sister when his mother called him into the kitchen. "Son, I know you're not feeling very good," she began. "Tomorrow for breakfast, don't eat your normal sugary cereal. I'll allow you to have some LIFE cereal after you eat a bowl of oatmeal, though. See, it's right here on the shelf," she pointed.
"Now, afterwards, I want you to have your older sister make you some broth from that ground liver we have in the fridge." Seeing the face he made, she added, "and then you can have some of the leftover sweet tea."
After the little boy came out of the kitchen, his older sister curiously asked, "What did she want?"
He promptly replied, "She just gave me the rights to LIFE, liver tea, and proper tea!"
I don't know why most people think a dog's life is so easy.
Every time I come home from work, I ask my dog how his day went.
He always says, "Rough!"