The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.”
The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the credit to the Holy Spirit.”
“It wasn’t THAT good!” she said.
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and please make sure the glass is clean."
(The waiter exits, returns.)
Waiter: "Two teas. Who asked for the clean glass?"
WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?"
HUSBAND: "No thanks. I'm too tired. Lets just eat at home."
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it with blue cheese!