Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils confused him... "2B or not to 2B?"
A customer called his car-rental company and said he needed a tow. The driver named the highway where he was stranded, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving.
The representative asked for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door sedan".
After a pause, the driver replied, "Well, it's the one on fire."
A young man enters a bar and sees a beautiful lady at the counter. He moves closer to her and starts a conversation.
Man: "Hello beautiful..."
Woman: "Hi."
Man: "My name is Solomon."
Woman: "So?"
Man: "Lomon."
I bought some new seeds for my chickens, but they can't eat it...
It's impeccable.