Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditioned it.
I was out with my young daughter and ran into a friend I'd not seen in years.
"This is Beth," I said, introducing my kid.
"And what's Beth short for?" he asked.
"Because she's only three," I answered.
A vegan said to me, "People who sell meat are gross!"
I said, "People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!"
A snobby man looked at me at a party and said, "You look poor!"
"Well," I clarified, "I've got an outfit for everyday of the week."
"Do you really?" he replied.
I said, "Yes. It's this one!"