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Favorite this joke No offense, but I was raised to “take care of my husband”...
Wash his clothes, clean the house, wear gloves, get rid of the body, act really sad at the funeral.
3rd Place
won
$15.00
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
6th Place
won
$9.00
Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man: Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.
9th Place
won
$6.00
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion.
The visiting hunter asked, ''When did you bag him?''
The host said, ''That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.''
''What's he stuffed with?'' asked the visiting hunter.
“My wife!”
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