Latest Jokes

$25.00 won 3 votes

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains its glass and bawls, "And get me another whisky!"

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee. Unaccustomed to such treatment, the man tries the parrots approach, "I've asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it now!"

The next moment, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you complain too much!"

3 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "RS" |
$5.00 won 3 votes
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I was going to post a time-traveling joke...

But you guys didn't like it.

3 votes

Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
3 votes
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As I left the grocery store, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band.

"I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to the boys. "You eat it for me."

I bought one and handed the candy back to one of the boys. He shook his head. "I can't," he said.

"Why not?"

Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."

3 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |
2 votes
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A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?"

"No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer."

"Never heard of him. What did he write?"

"A big check," replied the guide.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "wadejagz" |