Latest Jokes

I once ate a dictionary...

Never again, I ended up with thesaurus throat I've ever had!

After being widowed for a few years my sister recently remarried.

When I saw her I asked, "I'll bet your husband talks about his first wife?"

"Not anymore," she told me.

"Why not?"

"I began to talk about my next husband."

Tower: Cessna 2737 you are three miles from final, turn left 270 and expect the RNAV to Runway 27.

Pilot: Aye Aye, Captain!

Tower: Cessna 2737... read back and repeat all the instructions correctly.

Pilot: 10-4!

[Nearly 30 seconds later...]

Tower: Uhh..., Cessna 2737 please repeat back all instructions immediately!!

Pilot: Okay, I am so sorry about that, my co-pilot was at the controls and radio. Turning left to 270, and expecting the RNAV for runway 27 for Cessna 2737.

Tower: Readback is correct, and by the way, your co-pilot could use some training!

Pilot: Yeah, I concur with you. The only problem is that you can only teach a parrot so much!!

A man went to the doctor and said: “Doctor, I keep having visions of the future.”

“When did these start?”

“Next Thursday.”