One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her.
Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there.
"Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go honk the horn."