Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke I was wanting to fly my 82 year old mother, who has never flown to Chicago, for a visit.
"No way am I getting on an air plane," was mother's response.
I replied, "Look, Mom, when it's your time to go, it doesn't matter if you're on the ground or in the air."
Mother said, "I know, I just don't want to be that far off the ground when it's the pilot's time to go."
Knock, knock...
Who’s there?
Terrible English Teacher...
Terrible English Teacher who?
It’s Whom.
As the pastor gave his pretty lengthy sermon, he noticed one of his parishioners dozing off.
After church and as they were leaving, the pastor jokingly asked the dozer if he got a good rest during his sermon.
The parishioner quickly responded, “Not really, someone kept talking all the way through it.”
A terminally ill man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. ”Give it to me straight, doc, ” he said. ”How long have I got?”
The physician replied that he doubted whether the man would survive the night.
So the man said, ”Fetch me my lawyer.”
When the lawyer arrived, the man asked the physician to stand on one side of the bed while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then closed his eyes. After a few minutes, the physician asked him what he was thinking about.
The man replied, ”Jesus died with a thief on either side. I thought I check out the same way.”
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