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Favorite this joke When he saw how astronomically high his latest phone bill was, the head of house called a family meeting.
“This is unacceptable,” said the father. ”You have to limit the use of the phone. I never use this phone. I always use the one in the office.”
The mother said, ”Same here. I hardly use the home phone, because I use my work phone.”
The son said, ”Me, too. I never use the home phone. I always use the company's mobile."
”So what is the problem?” asked the maid. ”We all use our work telephones.”
Two eskimos were chatting. One said, “Where did your mother come from?”
“Alaska.”
“Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!”
My friend Jim told me that when he asked his wife where she wanted to go on vacation, she said that being married to him was a vacation.
When I commented that was a nice thing to say to him, Jim replied, "Well, actually, what she said was I was the 'last resort.'"
Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale hands shaking in fear.
"What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.
"No, it's not that. I've been transferred to Chicago. The people are crazy there, right? Lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor schools, and the highest crime rate in the USA."
Bob replied, "I've lived in Chicago all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, and enroll your kids in a nice private school. I've worked there for 14 years and never had the slightest trouble."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death, but if you've lived and worked there all those years and say its OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck..."
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