I heard about a new website: www.needleinahaystack.com.
Took me ages to find it!
A bloke on a tractor has just driven past me shouting, “The end of the world is tonight!”
I'm not positive, but I think it was Farmer Geddon.
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?
My wife asked me before going to the hairdressers, "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"
"A power cut" was apparently the wrong answer.