A new paratrooper was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto "Death from Above"...
Later he noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared "Death from Below"...
Then, standing in line for chow one day, he was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: "Death from Within"!
Principal: "Johnny, no running in school. Now, just why are you in such a hurry?"
Little Johnny (out of breath): "Sir, I'm trying to keep two fellows from fighting!"
Principal: "Who are those fellows?"
Little Johnny: "Billy Jones and myself!"