Latest Jokes

2 votes

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order.

As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor.

"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk quipped to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
$12.00 won 6 votes
 

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "Sure."

The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?"

Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$50.00 won 7 votes

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous.

Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around,rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"

To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane."

The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.

"Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless. Therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."

7 votes

CATEGORY Airplane Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Ryan Faidley" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. ''When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held.''

''Well, "the young man replied, "in your job posting you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”

6 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "iqannnylirod" |