Latest Jokes

A funeral procession is going up a steep hill on Main Street when the door of the hearse flies open, the coffin falls out, speeds down Main Street into a pharmacy and crashes into the counter.

The lid pops open and the deceased says to the astonished pharmacist, "You got anything to stop this coffin?"

In the aftermath of a recent hurricane a neighbor reported a man trying to break open an ATM in his back yard resulting in his arrest.

Judge: What do you have to say for yourself sir?

Defendant: The hurricane dropped the ATM in my back yard. The only reason I was trying to open it was to locate a serial number so I could find the owner?

Judge: What about the other five ATM’s the police found in your garage?

Defendant: Well, your honor, it’s been a bad hurricane season this year.

Teacher: "Missouri is the 'Show ME' state, Florida is the 'Sunshine State'. Does any one know the motto of Washington D.C.?"

Teacher: "No one? Does anyone wish to venture a guess?"

5th grade student: "Is it the 'Plausible Deniability' state?"