I saw a bloke walking along carrying a door handle. I asked him why he had it.
He said, "Well, it gets me out of the house."
I went to buy a duvet.
I asked the shop assistant what filling should I have.
She said: ‘Get down.’
So I hit the deck.
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who went out to buy maps?
He came back with a tin of Spam.
What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder?
He got behind in his work.