Little Johnny: I’m not going back to school anymore.
Mom: Why not?
Little Johnny: On Monday the teacher said that four and four make eight. On Tuesday she said six and two make eight. Today she said five and three make eight. I’m not going back until she makes up her mind.
The real estate agent is following up with an elderly gentlemen after showing him a new home. Over the phone the agent indicated, "This house will be worth double what you paid for it in a few years."
The older gentleman laughs, "At my age, it's a risk buying green bananas."