My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I told her it's unfair to make a judgement in less than a minute.
I have finally made it to those wonder years you hear about while growing up.
I wonder where my glasses are...
I wonder where my car is parked...
I wonder where my cell phone is...
I wonder where my sunglasses are...
I wonder...
A little known fact:
Aesop used to moonlight as a waiter in a small restaurant in his home city. While taking orders one day, he heard a diner call out, "Hey Aesop, can you tell us the story of The Elephant and the Squirrel?"
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't," Aesop replied. "That's not my fable."
Things You Say After 50:
Where the #$%# is my phone?
How did I get that bruise?
How do they expect you to read that small print?
Where'd I put my glasses?
I don't care if it doesn't look fashionable, it's comfortable!
Who the heck is calling at 9pm?