Latest Jokes

2 votes
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A homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, as a bonus, here's an extra $100 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. "What's the matter," asked the homeowner, "did you forget something?"

"No," replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

2 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 4 votes

"For heaven's sake, Chris, why can't you talk to me once in a while?" Julie whined.

"What?" Chris replied.

"Look around!" Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. "Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in a book! You don't even seem to know I'm alive!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Chris said.

"Sometimes I wish I were a book. Maybe then you'd at least look at me!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hmmmm," Chris mumbled, "that's not such a bad idea. Then I could take you to the library every few days and change you for something more interesting."

4 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes
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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

The boys were arriving back at the fraternity house after the summer vacation.

"What have you been doing this summer?" one asks another.

"Working in my dad's office, and you?"

"Yeah, I've been loafing around and doing nothing too."

9 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |