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Favorite this joke "Kulua Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...
... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"
9th Place
won
$6.00
Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
My ex's cooking was cold and bland.
Clearly, she put her heart and soul into it.
7th Place
won
$8.00
"Daddy, who was Hamlet?"
"Bring me the Bible you ignoramus and I will show you who he was."
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