Latest Jokes

At 3:00 in the morning, Laura woke up and gently tapped her husband on the shoulder. "Hector, wake up, wake up!"

"Huhh?" Hector replied groggily. "What is it?"

"It's the baby."

Hector sat up a bit and listened for about a minute. "But I don't hear him crying."

"Yes," Laura replied. "And it's your turn to find out why."

Joan: "I'm looking for a golden anniversary gift for my husband."

Lisa: "But haven't you only been married fifteen years?"

Joan: "Yes, but it feels like fifty!"

A patient about to go in for surgery at a small hospital was very nervous. Noticing his concern, the head surgeon traipsed up to him and said, "Don't worry, in all of my experience as a surgeon, only one other patient has died."

"Really?" the patient replied, already beginning to feel a little reassured. "How many other patients have you had?"

"You're my second," the surgeon replied.