Latest Jokes

A young missionary on his first term in Africa is out away from camp having devotions in a quiet clearing, as was his custom. This one particular day, while reading his Bible, a lion comes and lies down right beside him, so close that the hot warm smell of his breath is wafting over him. He is, as you would suppose, exceedingly uneasy.

He closes his eyes, praying, but when he opens them he sees another lion approach from the brush. The lion proceeds to lie down on the other side of him.

Convinced as he is that this is a test of his faith, he determines to return to his Bible reading. As soon as he does so, the two lions pounce upon him and devour him.

Moral of the story: Don't read between the lions.

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, “Do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?”

So I said, “Oh, that’s okay, I’m not going that far.

A wife told her husband that he put football before their marriage.

“That’s not true,” he said. “After all, this is our fourth season together.”

In my house, there is this light switch that doesn’t do anything.

Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check.

Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”