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$6.00 won 4 votes

A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”

The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."

4 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes
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The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. "But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm," he complained.

"That's why the suit is such a bargain," the sales clerk explained. "Just pull your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this."

"But the right leg is way too short," argued the customer.

"No problem," the sales clerk answered. "Just keep your right knee bent a little at all times, walk like this, and no one will notice. That's why this suit is only thirty dollars."

Finally, the fellow bought the suit, pulled his left shoulder into the air, tucked the suit's left lapel under his chin, bent his right knee, and limped out of the store toward his car. Two doctors happened along and noticed him.

"Good grief," the first doctor said to the second, "look at that poor fellow."

"Yeah," answered the second doctor. "But doesn't that suit fit great?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes
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Doctor: "You need new glasses."

Patient: "How do you know? I haven't told you what's wrong with me yet."

Doctor: "I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window."

2 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

One day at a local clinic, the doctor is outraged to see that he has no patients to examine. So he called his assistant to ask what happened.

His assistant replied, "I asked the patients if they are feeling okay, and they said 'no', so I told them to go home and get plenty of rest!"

1 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "ERS" |