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Favorite this joke A man was lying in a hospital, covered in bandages from head to toe. The guy in the next bed said, ”What do you do for a living?”
The bandaged man replied, “I used to be a window cleaner.”
“Oh, when did you give that up?”
“About halfway down.”
When a trick went wrong, an amateur magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two children into armchairs. He tried everything he knew to reverse the trick but when all attempts failed, he took them to a hospital.
He paced up and down in casualty for hours until finally a junior doctor came out to see him.
“My wife is a couch and my two children are armchairs,” said the magician. “I need to know how they’re doing.”
The doctor glanced at his notes and said, “They’re comfortable.”
Him: "This article says women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words."
Her: "That's probably because a woman has to say everything twice."
Him: "...What?"
I was supposed to go out with this guy on Saturday night. On Saturday afternoon he called and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea, because he just wanted to be friends.
So I hung up and called him back. He said, "Hello?"
I replied, "Hey, friend, it’s me. Want to hear what this jerk just did?"
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